🚫 1. Don’t Bring the Beach With You
Leave your Bluetooth speaker, 12-foot canopy tent, and inflatable unicorn at home. This isn’t a music festival. It’s a beach. Sit down, shut up, and enjoy the actual sound of the ocean for once.
🏄 2. If You Don’t Surf, Don’t Fake It
Wearing a surf brand doesn’t make you a surfer. Carrying a board you don’t use makes you a kook. If you want to learn, great — we support it. Just don’t paddle out and snake someone’s wave while filming yourself for TikTok. You’ll get flattened, and someone will laugh. It might be us.
🌯 3. Support Local. Always.
We get it — the big chain burrito spot is “safe,” but if you’re not hitting up the hole-in-the-wall seafood shack or the old gas station with killer hushpuppies, you’re missing the point entirely. You came for the coast — eat like it.
👃 4. Respect the Space
Pick up your trash. Don’t feed the seagulls. Don’t vape in the windward direction of someone trying to nap. And for the love of Poseidon, rinse the sand off your feet before you go into a shop.
🛑 5. Stop Asking Where the Locals Go
We’re not telling you. If we did, it wouldn’t be a local spot anymore. That’s how that works. Find your own slice of beach and treat it right. You might just earn some nods next time around.
🧠 Final Thought
Being a kook isn’t about being new — it’s about being oblivious. Pay attention, be cool, and you’ll blend in just fine. Or at least get fewer side-eyes.
Got your own kook story? Drop it in the comments — anonymously, if necessary.
